What might it be like?
A couple of weekends ago we participated in the PROP program here in Chicago through Mission Year. It’s a program that focuses on immersion into the life of those living on the streets. We slept on a cold floor in clothes that were not ours, panhandled for lunch money or train fare, and ate out of trashcans. It was a program I went into very much anxious and worried about what might be asked of us, and struck within ten minutes by the reality that none of it had anything to do with me, and everything to do with those who suffered in this lifestyle. I was being asked to identify with those the world has made invisible, with those that as children we are taught to ignore and even fear. I wrote a reflection on this experience that is far too long for this blog, but I wanted to share parts of it with you. If you want to read the whole thing you can find it here: http://cid-d086434eb17a01af.skydrive.live.com/self.aspx/Mission%20Year%20Updates/PROP%20Reflection.doc
“Forcing myself to be humble to the point of humiliation, feeling what it might feel like not to have a voice that others will listen to, all of it was such a foreign and uncomfortable place to put myself.
We gave up, tired of the sea of faces tuned into their earphones and cell phones, too busy to be inconvenienced by those around them…We walked amid a group of tourists not too far off in age from us, who looked at us warily, unsure whether to greet as comrades or look quickly the other way. How great a difference my out-of-style clothing, unkempt hair, and exhausted expression made in their assumptions! … I took a cup and rounded the corner, taking up a seat on the cold concrete, shadowed by scaffolding overhead. It was a place no one would want to sit; dark, cold, and removed from the flow of the town. It was the kind of place one becomes invisible… The overwhelming emotions of those we had seen on the video the night before and on the street that day, overcame me and I could not help but feel a small portion of the shame, frustration, and desperation that they must feel. To be forced to humble yourself in such a vulnerable way, to be at the mercy of those passing by, was not only humbling, but utterly disheartening. To see parents pull their kids away from me, someone they could easily have entrusted their child to a school the day before, angered me. How could such a thin layer of circumstance separate that me from the me now on the streets? How many layers separated me from others sharing the same patch of concrete before me?
My world changed in that moment. I no longer could see the separation of myself from the circumstance of those living on the street. How easily could I have been there too if my life had been one degree different? I watched as people walked by viewing me with unnecessary fear, disdain, and at times curiosity. Never was any of it enough to garner their time… What has our world become that we are so isolated in ourselves that we do not even see those suffering around us? How many times had I too just walked by, not even acknowledging the humanity of the person I was passing? Would I do that to my own family or friends? I wanted to say no, and yet how many times had just that happened? A friend sharing their need and my only acknowledging grief for their circumstance with no loving action, or a family member needing from me more than I was willing to give. Too many times I can think of “just passing by” that moment as so many had done to me that day.”
“So what does this experience mean?…I look at what we experienced through the perspective of the scriptures and I know without a shadow of a doubt now, why Jesus chose to lower himself and associate with those he did while on earth. God’s identity is so tied to the poor and the oppressed… From day one, God played by different rules, and that hasn’t changed today. Jesus said to love our God and love others. It says throughout scripture we cannot know God without knowing love for those around us. In Psalms, it talks about how when we mock or show contempt for those who are needy, we spit in the face of our creator. Our Maker chose to identify himself with the very people we have worked so hard to isolate ourselves from. How can we know him, without knowing them? Spending a day identifying with those my Creator has chosen to identify Himself with not only taught me how to love my neighbor, but it taught me who my God really is. It showed me, in a way I have never experienced before, the character of my God and the identity He has chosen to not only have as His own, but to impart to me. In order to be like Him, I must be able to identify with and love those who are pushed to outskirts of society.
This program was such a small step in being able to do that, but a significant one. I feel like the veil has been ripped down revealing to me the truth behind what Jesus says in Matthew 25 about the sheep and the goats, revealing the truth of what it means when he says “whatever you do to the least of these, you do unto me.” PROP has opened the door for me to begin to explore who God truly is and what kind of kingdom He is really calling us to. It is a world utterly flipped from the “norm,” and I have the choice now to pursue that or turn my back in disobedience. It is uncomfortable, humbling, and still so unclear, but it is there that my God dwells and trusting in Him I walk forward knowing it is where I should be too.”
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